Well don't take it personally dear blog readers - - - you aren't the only ones.
I'm working on correcting that.
I've actually started a few blog posts in the last couple weeks with such titles as
'They only ate cereal for supper once this week' (see I'm working on correcting the neglect of my children too)
and
' The ants came marching two by two' and maybe if the ants would stop walking across my keyboard and giving me the heebie jeebies I might be more inclined to sit at the computer more often. (I'm working on the neglect of the house too....spent all day today doing just that - for all the progress that excercise in futility got me) not that the ant issue is entirely due to the trail of food crumbs and granola bar wrappers and half eatten hotdogs my children leave behind them but also the house itself. It screams 'hey ants....i'm an old wooden house with nooks and cracks and issues just perfect for your inhabitation' Darn House! Darn Kids! Darn Ants!
and
'Someone Erased My Whiteboard!' which resulted in my almost neglecting to deligate what little inflow of cash into this house there is towards the right bill at the right time.
So see, I'm not singling you out in the neglect department. I'm an equal opportunity neglector.
I'm slowly adjusting to life as a working mom. Now that school's out for the summer it's gotten a bit easier....or harder? I haven't decided which. I think easier because there isn't that frenzied rush to get everyone up and out the door for the bus just minutes before I have to leave for work. I'm also getting the hang of my job so I don't feel so out of my element and that is helping with my mental exhaustion. Physically, with having to pick Al up at midnight during the week, I'm still not getting enough sleep but my body is totally adjusting and I find that even on my days off or on days I get more than 6 hours of sleep I'm waking up automatically anyway. Darn internal clock has been reset and now I'm a morning person. Oh the horror!
I have had a few extra days to catch up on much needed sleep lately too. With the Canada Day holiday this week I somehow managed to have two days off mid-week plus two days off this weekend so I'm feeling a little less tired than I have been. There was also an unscheduled day off a week ago when I was sent home from work 'sick' and the medication I eneded up on knocked me right out so I got plenty of sleep - not that I felt better for it. The whole episode was quite nerve wracking and involved a 'severe allergic reaction' to something. Over the course of two days I developed a wicked case of hives that eventually spread to my ears/face/eyes/lips and were making their way to my throat (scarey!!!!) I ended up spending 3hours in the ER where they injected me with hydrocortisone and sent me home with a prescription and instructions to take benadryl (knocked me on my ass that stuff did!). By the next day I was hive-free, steroid full and back at work and still have no clue what the cause was. I can't say I'm a fan of the unknown in this case and would feel alot better about the whole thing if I knew why it happened in the first place. I have my suspicions (3-4 possible suspects) but without it happening again (not a huge fan of that idea either) the doc says we won't know. Geesh. And ya wanna know what my first thoughts were after the initial scare was over.......that it cost me a day of work and the price of the prescription. Darn Hives!
Money's still tight but we are managing and once we get a few more paycheques (hopefully without anymore unscheduled, hive-induced lost days) into the bank and caught up on some bills things will be even better. We managed to sell off one small piece of equipment at exactly the right time as it bought us a little time with the leasing company (and I was able to make the first monthly payment towards Tyler's trip with 24hours to spare --- whew!)
Tyler's picked up a second job with quite a few more hours so I'm confident he will be able to come up with almost if not all of this months payment. We even got some big news tonight that Aarica is starting a summer job tomorrow morning working at a daycamp with a woman that used to be an EA at her school so I'm confident she will be in good hands and have a wonderful summer. Of course, while it's great both kids have summer jobs, it makes scheduling a bit more tricky for everyone but with the help of family to cover the overlap between when Al and Tyler start work at 4 and I finish work at 5, things seem to be falling into place.
Well. I'm sure there's been more stuff happening around here lately. Visits from family. Family fun. Pictures of everyone. Weird/funny/bizzare stories etc but my phone alarm just went off reminding me it's time to go pick up Al (you fall asleep and forget to pick him up once...okay twice and he gets all snarky) so I guess my blog time is up.
Miss ya'll
Update your blogs too so I know what you are up to.
~K
Showing posts with label aarica. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aarica. Show all posts
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
And the award goes to.....
Last night Al and I, and his parents too, attended the high school awards night *banquet*.
The End.
No.
Not really the end. I guess I should tell you more - otherwise what would be the point of bring it up in the first place.
Mid last week I received a call from the high school informing me that our eldest daughter was receiving an award and that our presence was requested at this banquet where she would receive said award.
Now being the person that I am, I was slightly annoyed that I was being made to leave the house which I feel I spend precious little time in lately to begin with to attend an academic and sports awards banquet which, lets face it - are not areas which Aarica excels at AND they wouldn't tell me what sort of award she was getting and you all know how much I just LOVE surprises.
I will admit, I was just a wee bit concerned that this award wasn't truely an award but more of a token or gesture. I'm sorry if that sounds completely pessimistic and mean but seriously - the awards handed out tonight were mostly given to the committee heads, student council members, honour roll students and the musically, theatrically, artistically and athletically gifted and I did not want my daughter paraded up there to receive a 'token' award for some sort of unknown accomplishment. Had they just told me what this award was for it would have relieved some of my concern and also some of the annoyance at being made to go out at all this evening.
Of course, I would still have been annoyed with the whole matter anyway because the cost of this lovely banquet was $12 per person and while I assumed the students receiving awards would not be required to pay for their tickets.....I was wrong and oh boy was I ticked when I stopped in the office on Tuesday to purchase tickets for Al and I and found that out. Not that it mattered since there were no more tickets left anyway and only then was I told that we could just show up an hour after the banquet started, once the meal was over and attend the awards portion of the evening without having to pay a dime. If they'd have just mentioned that in the first place....along with the nature of the award she was receiving....I wouldn't have been annoyed at all - or at least as much. Still wasn't pleased I was being made to leave my house.
So I guess after all my annoyance passed (except the slight twinge of not knowing why we were there in the first place) and we got to the banquet and eventually found a place at the back to sit and sat through the many many many awards that were handed out (to the same 10 people I'm sure) they called Aarica's name. And colour me surprised. It wasn't a fluff "good citizen" type award at all. It was indeed an actual academic award from her Travel and Tourism course which is a new course that just started this year.
She is officially the first student at our school to complete the requirements for the 1st level of this course and she received a certificate (and a t-shirt) from the Canadian Association of Travel and Tourism for completing it. The school even went so far as to put the certificate in a frame for her....and while I'm not going to try and kid myself into thinking that she, on her own, was able to complete all the work or have a solid knowledge of most of the information covered in the course but with the help of her educational assistant she did and she also fulfilled her required 25 hours of work experience (she's been going to the local senior's home twice a week and helping out in laundry, housekeeping, the kitchen/dining room as well as visiting with the 'grandmas and grandpas' that live there) and she's received a passing grade and the certificate to prove it.
And that's pretty cool and we are proud of her!
~K
The End.
No.
Not really the end. I guess I should tell you more - otherwise what would be the point of bring it up in the first place.
Mid last week I received a call from the high school informing me that our eldest daughter was receiving an award and that our presence was requested at this banquet where she would receive said award.
Now being the person that I am, I was slightly annoyed that I was being made to leave the house which I feel I spend precious little time in lately to begin with to attend an academic and sports awards banquet which, lets face it - are not areas which Aarica excels at AND they wouldn't tell me what sort of award she was getting and you all know how much I just LOVE surprises.
I will admit, I was just a wee bit concerned that this award wasn't truely an award but more of a token or gesture. I'm sorry if that sounds completely pessimistic and mean but seriously - the awards handed out tonight were mostly given to the committee heads, student council members, honour roll students and the musically, theatrically, artistically and athletically gifted and I did not want my daughter paraded up there to receive a 'token' award for some sort of unknown accomplishment. Had they just told me what this award was for it would have relieved some of my concern and also some of the annoyance at being made to go out at all this evening.
Of course, I would still have been annoyed with the whole matter anyway because the cost of this lovely banquet was $12 per person and while I assumed the students receiving awards would not be required to pay for their tickets.....I was wrong and oh boy was I ticked when I stopped in the office on Tuesday to purchase tickets for Al and I and found that out. Not that it mattered since there were no more tickets left anyway and only then was I told that we could just show up an hour after the banquet started, once the meal was over and attend the awards portion of the evening without having to pay a dime. If they'd have just mentioned that in the first place....along with the nature of the award she was receiving....I wouldn't have been annoyed at all - or at least as much. Still wasn't pleased I was being made to leave my house.
So I guess after all my annoyance passed (except the slight twinge of not knowing why we were there in the first place) and we got to the banquet and eventually found a place at the back to sit and sat through the many many many awards that were handed out (to the same 10 people I'm sure) they called Aarica's name. And colour me surprised. It wasn't a fluff "good citizen" type award at all. It was indeed an actual academic award from her Travel and Tourism course which is a new course that just started this year.
She is officially the first student at our school to complete the requirements for the 1st level of this course and she received a certificate (and a t-shirt) from the Canadian Association of Travel and Tourism for completing it. The school even went so far as to put the certificate in a frame for her....and while I'm not going to try and kid myself into thinking that she, on her own, was able to complete all the work or have a solid knowledge of most of the information covered in the course but with the help of her educational assistant she did and she also fulfilled her required 25 hours of work experience (she's been going to the local senior's home twice a week and helping out in laundry, housekeeping, the kitchen/dining room as well as visiting with the 'grandmas and grandpas' that live there) and she's received a passing grade and the certificate to prove it.
And that's pretty cool and we are proud of her!
~K
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Teen Drama Queen Strikes Again - footage at 11
Okay so there's no actual footage but believe me it would have been hysterical watching her get all hysterical. Is it wrong that I find the trauma in my daughters life so darn giggle-worthy some days. Believe me, a sense of humor is the only way I keep from loosing my mind.
Why was she hysterically pitching a fit you might ask. Well, generally she needs not have a particular reason because she will freak out at the drop of a hat anytime she feels there has been some sort of injustice, real or not, that has been inflicted upon her.
The little darling has been grounded since Monday. All electronic possessions confiscated, all computer, tv and gaming rights revoked (I did leave her with use of her clock/radio...I'm not totally without mercy) plus the first two nights she was confined to her bedroom unless otherwise instructed for matters involving chores or family committments - it's not like I could leave her home alone with free access to fun while I attended a school concert with the other children so she was given a 2-hour pass to socialize and be free while we were there.
To make matters even more unbareable for her I, in my evil, I've-got-all-the-power ways allowed her brother the use of her beloved Ipod. Bwwwaaahhhhhhaaaaahhhhhaaaaa.
Slowly she's been receiving priviledges back. One thing at a time. She was scheduled to receive her Ipod back today (Saturday) only she felt the need to argue that point due to some project she's working on for school and the particular song she needs to practice for this presentation is on her Ipod. She presented her case and wasn't thrilled with my decision that the day was almost over anyway and since she was the one who did stupid things and got herself grounded that she'd just have to wait till the next day and since it's a long weekend she'd have 3 days to practice so I wasn't budging and she wasn't happy.
Of course then I pointed out that it really didn't matter because her brother went to a friends house after school and since he was in possession of the repossessed prized possession she couldn't have it back anyway. This pushed the injustice just a little too far and she was miffed to say the least.
Oh it was fun.
Almost as much fun as why she was grounded in the first place.
Caught the little darling on the front step Monday afternoon smoking a cigarette - apparently not her first either. My mind exploded at that point and I lost the ability to speak for awhile.
It's been a glorious week.
One I hope to not have to repeat anytime soon.
Being grounded was hard on her......harder on the rest of us.
By Monday, if she doesn't push her luck she may just have all rights restored.
~K
Why was she hysterically pitching a fit you might ask. Well, generally she needs not have a particular reason because she will freak out at the drop of a hat anytime she feels there has been some sort of injustice, real or not, that has been inflicted upon her.
The little darling has been grounded since Monday. All electronic possessions confiscated, all computer, tv and gaming rights revoked (I did leave her with use of her clock/radio...I'm not totally without mercy) plus the first two nights she was confined to her bedroom unless otherwise instructed for matters involving chores or family committments - it's not like I could leave her home alone with free access to fun while I attended a school concert with the other children so she was given a 2-hour pass to socialize and be free while we were there.
To make matters even more unbareable for her I, in my evil, I've-got-all-the-power ways allowed her brother the use of her beloved Ipod. Bwwwaaahhhhhhaaaaahhhhhaaaaa.
Slowly she's been receiving priviledges back. One thing at a time. She was scheduled to receive her Ipod back today (Saturday) only she felt the need to argue that point due to some project she's working on for school and the particular song she needs to practice for this presentation is on her Ipod. She presented her case and wasn't thrilled with my decision that the day was almost over anyway and since she was the one who did stupid things and got herself grounded that she'd just have to wait till the next day and since it's a long weekend she'd have 3 days to practice so I wasn't budging and she wasn't happy.
Of course then I pointed out that it really didn't matter because her brother went to a friends house after school and since he was in possession of the repossessed prized possession she couldn't have it back anyway. This pushed the injustice just a little too far and she was miffed to say the least.
Oh it was fun.
Almost as much fun as why she was grounded in the first place.
Caught the little darling on the front step Monday afternoon smoking a cigarette - apparently not her first either. My mind exploded at that point and I lost the ability to speak for awhile.
It's been a glorious week.
One I hope to not have to repeat anytime soon.
Being grounded was hard on her......harder on the rest of us.
By Monday, if she doesn't push her luck she may just have all rights restored.
~K
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Suggestion Duely Noted and Taken Into Consideration
It's another one of those "I'm speechless" moments in my life.
I hate when the school calls and puts me on the spot and I can't think of how to respond without sounding all snarky (although I probably did anyway) and I'm sick of being called about the stupidest things and being made to feel like I've just been scolded like a child and told what to do.
As I've stated before, I'm not the worlds best advocate for my kid. Mostly I think because I just don't have the answers and I'm at a loss for what to do most of the time to begin with so when challenged on things I freeze up.
I've been getting increasingly frusterated by the situation at school with my oldest (who turned 17 yesterday and I'm still dealing with the reality of that....and the grey hair I found even though I just coloured my hair last week. UGH!) and it's come to the point where a couple weeks ago I had a dream that I pulled her out of school completely and decided that I would homeschool her. In my dream it totally worked and we had the most amazing success with the plan. In reality I can't see it working well at all for numerous reasons such as....we don't get along --- at all and we'd probably kill each other. Not to mention the fact I'm totally disorganized and wouldn't know what to do or where to start.
Today is another one of those days were I have the disillusioned idea that I could and should do it.
Today's call from the resource coordinator was about our daughter not bringing a lunch and I guess she was trying to be constructive about the situation but her tone and words were so condescending that it just got me all defensive and I'm completely put off by her attitude. We've actually discussed this issue a few times over the year and really, I don't know what to do about it. I can't force my daughter to take a lunch and I'm not at the school to monitor her and make her eat her lunch if she does take one. She's left on her own during lunch (which I've expressed concern with) so what do they expect me to do. Well I guess they are getting complaints regarding Aarica asking for money or food from students (again....we went through this in the fall too....and then she was even asking teachers/staff for money). So the coordinator offered suggestions such as us sending in money for her to have in her account at the caffeteria - wasn't an option in the fall and it's definately not an option for us now. She seemed a bit annoyed that I couldn't accomodate this and then she suggested we bring in food such as a loaf of bread and lunch meat or cup of soup etc that can be stored there and our daughter can make herself a sandwich or whatever to have for lunch.
Now forgive me if I'm way wrong in my thinking here but my child has special needs but that doesn't make her so special that the rules don't apply to her (even though she likes to think that way) and there is absolutely no reason she cannot take a lunch made at home each morning just like her brothers and sister do. NO reason at all....except that she's a stubborn thing and refuses to take a lunch. Period. If she can't have money for the cafeteria she doesn't want anything at all.
So I told the coordinator I would see what I could do and ended the call as quickly after that as possible. I couldn't figure out a way of telling her I didn't see that suggestion working for me either and I was really tired of having to justify my reasons to her. I'm struggling hard enough to squeeze the basics out of our food budget without having to purchase a seperate loaf and package of meat that will be kept at school on the off chance our daughter might get around to eatting it....which I'm almost positive she wouldn't.
When Aarica got home I pulled her aside and told her I'd gotten a call from the school and asked her what was going on.....who she'd been mooching money and food off of etc....and she lied and said she wasn't and then said her friends 'offered' and I'm not buying it one bit. I told her she doesn't have a choice and would be taking a lunch from now on and her responses were "I'll just forget it here" and I told her I'd duct tape it to her damn forehead if I had to but she was taking a lunch. She says she won't eat it and well...I guess that's the chance I will take - and the food I will waste - but I sure as heck am not treating her any different than the rest of my kids who survive quite fine on the packed lunch made at home that they take to school with them every day.....and sometimes they even eat it.
~K
I hate when the school calls and puts me on the spot and I can't think of how to respond without sounding all snarky (although I probably did anyway) and I'm sick of being called about the stupidest things and being made to feel like I've just been scolded like a child and told what to do.
As I've stated before, I'm not the worlds best advocate for my kid. Mostly I think because I just don't have the answers and I'm at a loss for what to do most of the time to begin with so when challenged on things I freeze up.
I've been getting increasingly frusterated by the situation at school with my oldest (who turned 17 yesterday and I'm still dealing with the reality of that....and the grey hair I found even though I just coloured my hair last week. UGH!) and it's come to the point where a couple weeks ago I had a dream that I pulled her out of school completely and decided that I would homeschool her. In my dream it totally worked and we had the most amazing success with the plan. In reality I can't see it working well at all for numerous reasons such as....we don't get along --- at all and we'd probably kill each other. Not to mention the fact I'm totally disorganized and wouldn't know what to do or where to start.
Today is another one of those days were I have the disillusioned idea that I could and should do it.
Today's call from the resource coordinator was about our daughter not bringing a lunch and I guess she was trying to be constructive about the situation but her tone and words were so condescending that it just got me all defensive and I'm completely put off by her attitude. We've actually discussed this issue a few times over the year and really, I don't know what to do about it. I can't force my daughter to take a lunch and I'm not at the school to monitor her and make her eat her lunch if she does take one. She's left on her own during lunch (which I've expressed concern with) so what do they expect me to do. Well I guess they are getting complaints regarding Aarica asking for money or food from students (again....we went through this in the fall too....and then she was even asking teachers/staff for money). So the coordinator offered suggestions such as us sending in money for her to have in her account at the caffeteria - wasn't an option in the fall and it's definately not an option for us now. She seemed a bit annoyed that I couldn't accomodate this and then she suggested we bring in food such as a loaf of bread and lunch meat or cup of soup etc that can be stored there and our daughter can make herself a sandwich or whatever to have for lunch.
Now forgive me if I'm way wrong in my thinking here but my child has special needs but that doesn't make her so special that the rules don't apply to her (even though she likes to think that way) and there is absolutely no reason she cannot take a lunch made at home each morning just like her brothers and sister do. NO reason at all....except that she's a stubborn thing and refuses to take a lunch. Period. If she can't have money for the cafeteria she doesn't want anything at all.
So I told the coordinator I would see what I could do and ended the call as quickly after that as possible. I couldn't figure out a way of telling her I didn't see that suggestion working for me either and I was really tired of having to justify my reasons to her. I'm struggling hard enough to squeeze the basics out of our food budget without having to purchase a seperate loaf and package of meat that will be kept at school on the off chance our daughter might get around to eatting it....which I'm almost positive she wouldn't.
When Aarica got home I pulled her aside and told her I'd gotten a call from the school and asked her what was going on.....who she'd been mooching money and food off of etc....and she lied and said she wasn't and then said her friends 'offered' and I'm not buying it one bit. I told her she doesn't have a choice and would be taking a lunch from now on and her responses were "I'll just forget it here" and I told her I'd duct tape it to her damn forehead if I had to but she was taking a lunch. She says she won't eat it and well...I guess that's the chance I will take - and the food I will waste - but I sure as heck am not treating her any different than the rest of my kids who survive quite fine on the packed lunch made at home that they take to school with them every day.....and sometimes they even eat it.
~K
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
*I Wonder Why?* Wednesday
Here's an *I Wonder Why?* from last Wednesday. I think I was so stunned that I just couldn't put it into words at the time.
I wonder why......
my almost 17year old daughter is standing behind me
in the grocery store
when she should be on the school bus
on her way home.
Actually, I wonder why wasn't really my first thought.
It was more of a What the hell are you doing here?!?! kind of moment
followed by a What the hell was the bus driver thinking?!?! kind of moment.
I was literally speechless, probably because my jaw was on the floor, and it took a few moments before I'd regained my ability to speak and then ohhhh baby did she get an ear full.....and then her father took her to the van and she continued to get an ear full while I finished picking up a few groceries.
From what I was able to piece together, one of the girls on her bus works at the grocery store and the bus driver was dropping her off at the store. My daughter, convinced that she saw our van in the parking lot and that we were in the store shopping, decided she was going to get off the bus too. Now technically, since she found us in the store, she wasn't wrong in her assumption that we were there BUT considering there are at least 3 steel blue/grey Uplander vans in town (I know because I've almost climbed into at least one of them by mistake) it could have easily not been our van she'd seen in the parking lot.
Her quick thinking brother, armed with his new cell phone sent me a text message asking where I was and I assured him that I was indeed at the store and in the company of his sister and that I was NOT happy with his sister OR the bus driver and thanked him for checking in with me about the situation. At least he realized there was a problem with the whole deal. The bus driver sure as heck didn't.
I was and actually still am quite floored.
Whatever possessed the bus driver to allow our daughter, our 17yr old with the critical thinking skills of a 6 yr old to get off the bus. I'm not one for labels and such but come on! The term "Special Needs Child" has to count for something and in my world it means at all times someone responsible must be watching out for my daughter because she is in many ways incapable of being responsible for herself. And the bus driver KNOWS this! She's 'pulled the wool over his eyes' once before when he first became our driver like two years ago. He knows not to believe her.....and yet he let her get off that bus.
When she was asked what she would have done if we hadn't been at the store she didn't have a clue. What-If questions are way too abstract. She eventually came up with a couple not completely wrong answers but definately not the correct response in that situation. Her ideas involved walking about a mile either in one direction or another to either of her grandparents' houses on the off chance that someone would be home and in all likelihood she would have either become lost along the way or more believable she would have been sidetracked and become totally lost. Never did she consider asking to use the telephone at the store or asking any of the dozen or more people that she knows who work there for help.
AND......she is completely oblivious to the fact that she did anything wrong.
And a week later......I'm still floored!
~K
I wonder why......
my almost 17year old daughter is standing behind me
in the grocery store
when she should be on the school bus
on her way home.
Actually, I wonder why wasn't really my first thought.
It was more of a What the hell are you doing here?!?! kind of moment
followed by a What the hell was the bus driver thinking?!?! kind of moment.
I was literally speechless, probably because my jaw was on the floor, and it took a few moments before I'd regained my ability to speak and then ohhhh baby did she get an ear full.....and then her father took her to the van and she continued to get an ear full while I finished picking up a few groceries.
From what I was able to piece together, one of the girls on her bus works at the grocery store and the bus driver was dropping her off at the store. My daughter, convinced that she saw our van in the parking lot and that we were in the store shopping, decided she was going to get off the bus too. Now technically, since she found us in the store, she wasn't wrong in her assumption that we were there BUT considering there are at least 3 steel blue/grey Uplander vans in town (I know because I've almost climbed into at least one of them by mistake) it could have easily not been our van she'd seen in the parking lot.
Her quick thinking brother, armed with his new cell phone sent me a text message asking where I was and I assured him that I was indeed at the store and in the company of his sister and that I was NOT happy with his sister OR the bus driver and thanked him for checking in with me about the situation. At least he realized there was a problem with the whole deal. The bus driver sure as heck didn't.
I was and actually still am quite floored.
Whatever possessed the bus driver to allow our daughter, our 17yr old with the critical thinking skills of a 6 yr old to get off the bus. I'm not one for labels and such but come on! The term "Special Needs Child" has to count for something and in my world it means at all times someone responsible must be watching out for my daughter because she is in many ways incapable of being responsible for herself. And the bus driver KNOWS this! She's 'pulled the wool over his eyes' once before when he first became our driver like two years ago. He knows not to believe her.....and yet he let her get off that bus.
When she was asked what she would have done if we hadn't been at the store she didn't have a clue. What-If questions are way too abstract. She eventually came up with a couple not completely wrong answers but definately not the correct response in that situation. Her ideas involved walking about a mile either in one direction or another to either of her grandparents' houses on the off chance that someone would be home and in all likelihood she would have either become lost along the way or more believable she would have been sidetracked and become totally lost. Never did she consider asking to use the telephone at the store or asking any of the dozen or more people that she knows who work there for help.
AND......she is completely oblivious to the fact that she did anything wrong.
And a week later......I'm still floored!
~K
Saturday, March 14, 2009
What to do. What to do. It's quite a pickle I'm in.
It's funny how things I read on other people's blogs jog my memory....my poor poor sad excuse of a memory and I remember either things I forgot to do or things I forgot I had wanted to write a post about - or both.
This is one of those posts. It's a post where I rant about our social worker.
Occasionally I have this fear that because I haven't changed the names of my children or that because I've posted too much information about us and some whack-a-doodle will track us down but I'm not really worried about that. I'm more worried someone I know will find this blog and tell our social worker I think she's a shmuck.....not that it's not a popular opinion around here with anyone who has the thrilling fortune to be on her case load but still, it's an opinion I'm occasionally not sure I'd want her to know. But on the other hand. I don't give a damn. The woman is a shmuck.
General consensus from a few people I've talked to about her is that we only hear from her in April. You know. Budget month. Well, it's almost April darlings and that means she should be making her annual telephone call to me any time now to let me know how little of my respite budget money I spent last year (lack of suitable respite workers will do that to a budget.....see how she's saving the govt' money) and I'll bet anyone a buck she asks if Aarica wants to go to camp this summer (easy way to spend my entire respite budget in one lump sum making much less work for her) and she might even get around to asking what grade Aarica's in and how she's is doing in school....only she will pronounce Aarica's name wrong - no wait, it's MY name she pronounces wrong or is it both. I dont' know. It's been almost a year.
As you can tell, she's not my favorite person and since Aarica is getting very very close to being turfed out of the Childrens Special Services department and handed over like the name on a file folder that she is to the Adult Services department, I'd kind of planned on just riding out the next year of our sentence...I mean time with CSS and this social worker until we were assigned someone from Adult Services.
I actually received a letter in early February from someone higher up in the social worker food chain (who just happens to have been our social worker for about a year, many many years ago) regarding Adult Services. I really should find that letter. I know it's around here in this mess somewhere. The letter states that Aarica has been "approved" (because what...they were expecting her to miraculously not need services overnight) and her case has been assigned to Adult Services for intake and our new social worker would be contacting us within 10 days of the date of the letter which was January 30th.
It's almost the middle of March and I've suddenly realized, I still haven't heard from anyone regarding this letter and I should really call about it. After-all, I am supposed to be an advocate for my daughter and keep on top of these things. Our "new" social worker is getting off to a wonderful start. She's right on top of her paperwork/follow-up telephone calls in much the same manner as our "old" social worker. Amazing. It's like they are the same person.
And do you want to know why?
Here comes the kicker.
It's Un-freaking-believable.
Because it's the same damn woman!!!! ARGH!!!!!! Somebody just kill me now!
What to do. What to do. Do I call the social worker or go over her head and contact her supervisor who'd sent the letter in the first place? It's quite the pickle.
~K
This is one of those posts. It's a post where I rant about our social worker.
Occasionally I have this fear that because I haven't changed the names of my children or that because I've posted too much information about us and some whack-a-doodle will track us down but I'm not really worried about that. I'm more worried someone I know will find this blog and tell our social worker I think she's a shmuck.....not that it's not a popular opinion around here with anyone who has the thrilling fortune to be on her case load but still, it's an opinion I'm occasionally not sure I'd want her to know. But on the other hand. I don't give a damn. The woman is a shmuck.
General consensus from a few people I've talked to about her is that we only hear from her in April. You know. Budget month. Well, it's almost April darlings and that means she should be making her annual telephone call to me any time now to let me know how little of my respite budget money I spent last year (lack of suitable respite workers will do that to a budget.....see how she's saving the govt' money) and I'll bet anyone a buck she asks if Aarica wants to go to camp this summer (easy way to spend my entire respite budget in one lump sum making much less work for her) and she might even get around to asking what grade Aarica's in and how she's is doing in school....only she will pronounce Aarica's name wrong - no wait, it's MY name she pronounces wrong or is it both. I dont' know. It's been almost a year.
As you can tell, she's not my favorite person and since Aarica is getting very very close to being turfed out of the Childrens Special Services department and handed over like the name on a file folder that she is to the Adult Services department, I'd kind of planned on just riding out the next year of our sentence...I mean time with CSS and this social worker until we were assigned someone from Adult Services.
I actually received a letter in early February from someone higher up in the social worker food chain (who just happens to have been our social worker for about a year, many many years ago) regarding Adult Services. I really should find that letter. I know it's around here in this mess somewhere. The letter states that Aarica has been "approved" (because what...they were expecting her to miraculously not need services overnight) and her case has been assigned to Adult Services for intake and our new social worker would be contacting us within 10 days of the date of the letter which was January 30th.
It's almost the middle of March and I've suddenly realized, I still haven't heard from anyone regarding this letter and I should really call about it. After-all, I am supposed to be an advocate for my daughter and keep on top of these things. Our "new" social worker is getting off to a wonderful start. She's right on top of her paperwork/follow-up telephone calls in much the same manner as our "old" social worker. Amazing. It's like they are the same person.
And do you want to know why?
Here comes the kicker.
It's Un-freaking-believable.
Because it's the same damn woman!!!! ARGH!!!!!! Somebody just kill me now!
What to do. What to do. Do I call the social worker or go over her head and contact her supervisor who'd sent the letter in the first place? It's quite the pickle.
~K
Thursday, March 12, 2009
a bit of rambling
Thursday.
Already.
So much on the go today.
Aarica's at home this morning. Obsessing. Asking the same questions over and over.
Her routine has been compromised so she's got a little anxiety going on.
She's stressing (rightfully so) about the blood test she has to take this morning. She hasn't had blood drawn in many many years - and she sure doesn't remember the last time - even though I do. It's vivid in my memory (which isn't that good so it really is a strong memory). The one and only time she's had blood drawn was for a series of genetic tests done way back when she was about 3. I remember holding this screaming, non-verbal child who was terrified and had no clue what all these people were doing to her.
She's even more stressed though by the fact that she can't eat. This blood work is a 12 hour fasting blood sugar test and even though she's normally in bed before 10:30pm (the time her 12 hour fast started) she was repeatedly asking about it last night before bed and then again this morning she's going through the same questions....."no milk?" no. "no toast?" no. "no coffee?" no....and you can't have that anyway so why ask about that one.
The crazy thing is our usual morning conversations are more in the opposite direction with us telling her she needs to eat something, anything. Most times she won't and other than drinking milk she rarely has anything at all except the occasional granola bar (and absolutely refuses to take a lunch....cuz she's in highschool you know and that's just not cool. If she can't buy it at the cafeteria she doesn't want it).
One more hour and then we can get this blood work done and then for sure she will want to eat - just for the sake of eatting - because this is the kid that won't eat breakfast and refuses to take a lunch unless it's in the form of money.
She also has an EKG scheduled. She's not too concerned about that one. I've explained about all the sticky tape they will place on her chest and arms and legs (i've been through enough of them with my mom in the last 8 months to know exactly how this test goes) and the tricky part will be her lying completely still for the entire minute and a half it takes for the machine to do its' thing. Being quiet and still is not what Aarica does best.
Thinking of this takes me back to the time Aarica had her hearing tests done (funny how the traumatic things stick in your mind) and oh was it traumatic. She was about 7 years old and still pretty much non-verbal and incapable of sitting still for 30 seconds and they wanted her to lay perfectly still and quiet for approximately 20minutes (as if!) while the computer recorded how her brain reacted to noises fed into her ears. Add to this the tech doing the test totally stuck his foot in his mouth and she panicked. Really panicked (is that spelled correctly?).
He said " I'm just going to glue these leads to your head."
That's it.
Simple sentence....well aside from the fact that he'd also been trying to explain what he would be doing to her in technical lingo that went over MY head but that's besides the point.
That one sentence, to a child with limited (very limited) verbal skills, and took everything so literally back then (still does to an extent....sarcasm is totally lost on her) thought he was going to permanently stick those wires to her head. OH the tears and trauma that resulted.
So we have this terrified, crying child that now has to lay still for 20 minutes. It didn't happen and 2 hours later we rescheduled for a couple weeks later. 2 - 60minute trips into the city and 3.5hours of testing later we had the results of this test. Moderate/severe hearing loss in one ear - congenital in nature - the nerves between her ear & brain didn't quite connect from the get-go.
Oddly enough, the same guy tested Emily's hearing a couple weeks after she was born and Owen when he was two and the tests were easy peasy and took 20 minutes tops and he didnt' freak any of my other children out. Of course Emily was only 2 weeks old and alseep in her carseat the whole time and didn't even flinch. Technology rocks. If only this hearing screening was routine for all newborns - imagine how few would slip through the cracks like Aarica did almost 17 yrs ago (yes...THAT's how old she's going to be in May!)
oppps......got way off track there didn't I.
Back to today.
Thursday. (and btw - this was supposed to have posted while I was at Aarica's appointment but dial-up was being snarky and it didn't go through.....so now I'm back and finishing up this post.)
How did it go?
Easy Peasy-ish.
The hardest parts of the whole thing was the waiting.
"I don't want to do this" but you have to.
"why do I have to have tests" to make sure the meds you are taking aren't doing funky things to your body.
"but i don't want to" sorry but you have to.
"it's going to hurt & i'm not doing it" it's going to be fine and yes you are.
"when can i eat?" when we are done here
"i don't want to do this" (even as she's sitting in the chair in the lab)
"you aren't going to jab my arm are you?" no but you can't move your arm at all
"i don't want to do this"
And in 20 seconds it was over and the most painful part was answering all the questions before, during and after.
And then we waited for the EKG.....and waited.....and guess what....answered more questions.
"How many tests again?" two - the blood which you've already done and the heart which is next
"And then I can eat?" yes
"but I don't want to do anymore tests." you are almost done and the next one is easy
" how many more?" only one more and it's easy. You just have to lay there and be quiet (if that's remotely possible) and not ask questions.
"but this is stupid. i don't need these tests" yes you do
"what will they do again" put little stickers on you and clip wires to them and the computer does all the work. you just have to lay STILL and NOT TALK.
"when can I eat" ugh...when we are done. where the heck is that tech?
and then.....to mortify her even more she had to put on a gown.
"why do i have to wear this" so they can put the stickers on you.
"do i really have to take my bra off too?" oh for pete's sake yes!
"how long is this going to take" 5 mintues if you cooperate. longer if you don't.
"i don't really want to do this" so i've heard.
and then it was over.
easy peasy....except for the questions.
oh and i did sneak a peek at the printout - *normal sinus rythmn; borderline left axis deviation* and i don't have a clue what that means, but it sure would have been nice to have a baseline EKG done before starting these meds to compare to this one huh.....but what do i know.
I need a drink now and they should probably hook me up to one of those EKG machines cuz I'm sure the print out would be freakin amazing!
"can we go to Subway now?" yes
dont' even get me started on the questions THAT involved.
"what kind of bread would you like that on?" ...............ARGH!!!!
Aarica could SO work at Subway. She LOVES to ask questions!
~K
Already.
So much on the go today.
Aarica's at home this morning. Obsessing. Asking the same questions over and over.
Her routine has been compromised so she's got a little anxiety going on.
She's stressing (rightfully so) about the blood test she has to take this morning. She hasn't had blood drawn in many many years - and she sure doesn't remember the last time - even though I do. It's vivid in my memory (which isn't that good so it really is a strong memory). The one and only time she's had blood drawn was for a series of genetic tests done way back when she was about 3. I remember holding this screaming, non-verbal child who was terrified and had no clue what all these people were doing to her.
She's even more stressed though by the fact that she can't eat. This blood work is a 12 hour fasting blood sugar test and even though she's normally in bed before 10:30pm (the time her 12 hour fast started) she was repeatedly asking about it last night before bed and then again this morning she's going through the same questions....."no milk?" no. "no toast?" no. "no coffee?" no....and you can't have that anyway so why ask about that one.
The crazy thing is our usual morning conversations are more in the opposite direction with us telling her she needs to eat something, anything. Most times she won't and other than drinking milk she rarely has anything at all except the occasional granola bar (and absolutely refuses to take a lunch....cuz she's in highschool you know and that's just not cool. If she can't buy it at the cafeteria she doesn't want it).
One more hour and then we can get this blood work done and then for sure she will want to eat - just for the sake of eatting - because this is the kid that won't eat breakfast and refuses to take a lunch unless it's in the form of money.
She also has an EKG scheduled. She's not too concerned about that one. I've explained about all the sticky tape they will place on her chest and arms and legs (i've been through enough of them with my mom in the last 8 months to know exactly how this test goes) and the tricky part will be her lying completely still for the entire minute and a half it takes for the machine to do its' thing. Being quiet and still is not what Aarica does best.
Thinking of this takes me back to the time Aarica had her hearing tests done (funny how the traumatic things stick in your mind) and oh was it traumatic. She was about 7 years old and still pretty much non-verbal and incapable of sitting still for 30 seconds and they wanted her to lay perfectly still and quiet for approximately 20minutes (as if!) while the computer recorded how her brain reacted to noises fed into her ears. Add to this the tech doing the test totally stuck his foot in his mouth and she panicked. Really panicked (is that spelled correctly?).
He said " I'm just going to glue these leads to your head."
That's it.
Simple sentence....well aside from the fact that he'd also been trying to explain what he would be doing to her in technical lingo that went over MY head but that's besides the point.
That one sentence, to a child with limited (very limited) verbal skills, and took everything so literally back then (still does to an extent....sarcasm is totally lost on her) thought he was going to permanently stick those wires to her head. OH the tears and trauma that resulted.
So we have this terrified, crying child that now has to lay still for 20 minutes. It didn't happen and 2 hours later we rescheduled for a couple weeks later. 2 - 60minute trips into the city and 3.5hours of testing later we had the results of this test. Moderate/severe hearing loss in one ear - congenital in nature - the nerves between her ear & brain didn't quite connect from the get-go.
Oddly enough, the same guy tested Emily's hearing a couple weeks after she was born and Owen when he was two and the tests were easy peasy and took 20 minutes tops and he didnt' freak any of my other children out. Of course Emily was only 2 weeks old and alseep in her carseat the whole time and didn't even flinch. Technology rocks. If only this hearing screening was routine for all newborns - imagine how few would slip through the cracks like Aarica did almost 17 yrs ago (yes...THAT's how old she's going to be in May!)
oppps......got way off track there didn't I.
Back to today.
Thursday. (and btw - this was supposed to have posted while I was at Aarica's appointment but dial-up was being snarky and it didn't go through.....so now I'm back and finishing up this post.)
How did it go?
Easy Peasy-ish.
The hardest parts of the whole thing was the waiting.
"I don't want to do this" but you have to.
"why do I have to have tests" to make sure the meds you are taking aren't doing funky things to your body.
"but i don't want to" sorry but you have to.
"it's going to hurt & i'm not doing it" it's going to be fine and yes you are.
"when can i eat?" when we are done here
"i don't want to do this" (even as she's sitting in the chair in the lab)
"you aren't going to jab my arm are you?" no but you can't move your arm at all
"i don't want to do this"
And in 20 seconds it was over and the most painful part was answering all the questions before, during and after.
And then we waited for the EKG.....and waited.....and guess what....answered more questions.
"How many tests again?" two - the blood which you've already done and the heart which is next
"And then I can eat?" yes
"but I don't want to do anymore tests." you are almost done and the next one is easy
" how many more?" only one more and it's easy. You just have to lay there and be quiet (if that's remotely possible) and not ask questions.
"but this is stupid. i don't need these tests" yes you do
"what will they do again" put little stickers on you and clip wires to them and the computer does all the work. you just have to lay STILL and NOT TALK.
"when can I eat" ugh...when we are done. where the heck is that tech?
and then.....to mortify her even more she had to put on a gown.
"why do i have to wear this" so they can put the stickers on you.
"do i really have to take my bra off too?" oh for pete's sake yes!
"how long is this going to take" 5 mintues if you cooperate. longer if you don't.
"i don't really want to do this" so i've heard.
and then it was over.
easy peasy....except for the questions.
oh and i did sneak a peek at the printout - *normal sinus rythmn; borderline left axis deviation* and i don't have a clue what that means, but it sure would have been nice to have a baseline EKG done before starting these meds to compare to this one huh.....but what do i know.
I need a drink now and they should probably hook me up to one of those EKG machines cuz I'm sure the print out would be freakin amazing!
"can we go to Subway now?" yes
dont' even get me started on the questions THAT involved.
"what kind of bread would you like that on?" ...............ARGH!!!!
Aarica could SO work at Subway. She LOVES to ask questions!
~K
Monday, March 09, 2009
When I Win the Lottery
One of the 'free-lance' jobs Al & I have been doing for almost a year now started out as construction clean up of debris around the building site of a new condo development. From there it moved to hauling away the construction garbage from inside the houses and also cleaning up after the trades and doing things like preping the subfloor so the flooring installers could come in and lay the carpet,vinyl and hardwood (take my advice - do not EVER install dark walnut hardwood flooring or cabinetry no matter how pretty it looks. It is evil to clean!) Lately we have been cleaning up the finished or almost finished units before open house events.
We've watched these 4 condo units grow from the ground up and we love them all. The floor plans are all awesome and Al loves the 8 ft ceilings in the basements (he hasn't hit his head on a light fixture yet....and I counted - in each house there are a minimum of 4 teleposts per basement ---- FOUR!)
I am particularly in love with the floor plan of the 3 bedroom show-home unit including the wall colours, cabinetry, flooring and all the staging fixtures. I'm seriously head over heels in love!
I love the kitchen!
The living/dining room!
The master bedroom and bath!
I seriously love everything about it....except cleaning it! Actually, cleaning the one unit isn't so bad. It's having to clean all 4 and having to clean up after the trades (who are messier than my kids in some ways). It took me 10+ hours not including the time it took to haul hot water and Al spent 6 hours cleaning the garages and basements and hauling away all the garbage.
Even with all that work though, I still love them and I want one so bad!
Some day. Some way. We will have one built on our property.
I hope.
The more we think about it the more and more it's what our goal is. The house we currently live in won't live forever - no question about that. How much longer is anybody's guess. These particular 'condo' houses seem to be the best option. They are duplex houses and the one we like has a 3bedroom unit on one side and a 2 bedroom unit on the other. We are fairly certain that Aarica will never live truely independantly but we are hopefull that one day she would be able to live with some supervision in one side of the house while we live in the other - then we would be close by but we would each have our own space. I don't know if this is a realistic goal but for now it's an idea - a hope - a dream. I think it's going to have to involve a lottery ticket or two too so I'd better start buying them.
~K
Thursday, March 05, 2009
(At Work) Boredom Buster Blog Post - Part Dos
Another recent text message
*SNORT*
I'm guessing since he asked, our doctor doesn't read my blog. If he did, he would have known the answer.
So Al's got a follow-up in a couple months and he's supposed to go to the pharmacy occasionally and check his bp on their machine in the mean time.
I believe there was also some mention of loosing a wee bit o' weight which I'm pretty involves cutting down on the PAILS of icecream consumed on a regular basis and while the work we do is pretty darn physical, I'm thinking a little cardio could be helpful.
Now the reason Al was at the Dr's office to begin with wasn't that he wasn't feeling well. Honestly, that man never gets sick. It acually makes me sick cuz I just have to hear the word strep and it infects me (Al's nephew just tested positive so it should be any day now for me - ohjoy) and yet I can share a drink with Al and he would be just fine. Grrrrr (doh..sidetracked rant)
Anyway, the reason for the Dr's visit was that as part of getting his Class 1 license, he had to have a "medical check-up". Now they (the licensing people) say this is a "physical" but in retrospect ---- it so isn't! The entire "check-up" involved being weighed and having his bp taken and answering a handful of questions.
Do you have a drinking problem? No.
Do you have an icecream problem? Yes....oh wait...that wasn't one of the questions - but it should have been.
Do you abuse drugs? No.
Have you ever abused drugs? No.
Have you have a history of kidney or heart problems? No and No.
And.....
That's it.
The entire "check-up" in a nut-shell.
The Dr marked off the appropriate boxes, noted his weight and bloodpressure and they were done.
No blood work or nothing.
And for that we got to write a glorious cheque in the amount of $95.
He can't be very concerned about Al's blood pressure if that's what he's charging to fill out paperwork. I know it shot mine up a couple points.
Come on!
For that kind of cash dammit I expected the man to put on a pair of gloves and make Al cough!
A few hours later I was at the same Dr's office too. Aarica had an appointment for her prescription refill. Seriously, there were more questions asked and more tests ordered at Aarica's appointment. He asked how things are going on the meds (GOOD!) and how things were in general (it is what it is). He asked if we had any counciling help - which is a big negative since our phychologist guy took another job. *sigh* and he talked to Aarica about her boyfriend situation and gasp even asked her about sex. It was quite the chitchat.
After he handed us another 3 months prescription PLUS a lab requisition for some tests, I shoo'd her out of the room (and she actually went to the lab on her own and made the appointments for her tests...all on her own...how cool) and I talked to the Dr briefly about Aarica and boys and the possibility that birthcontrol might be an option in the near future - just for safety sake more than anything. She's so unaware of life and could so easily be taken advantage of so it's something that is on our minds these days.
In the mean time, he's ordered fasting blood sugar and a EKG to check her sugars and her heart function - things that need to be kept an eye on with long term use of the meds she's taking and we will talk some more about the results and everything else next time.
And for all that Manitoba Health picks up the tab, but not to fill out a simple form for a class 1 drivers license application.
Go Figure - Not that I'm complaining.
My blood pressure probably wouldn't have been too stellar if I'd been given a bill for Aarica's appointment. Wonder what that would have cost me in the US?
" 140/90 isn't that bad is it?"
"Ummmmm. Well it's not perfect but I don't think your heart is going
to explode.....today. What did the doctor say about it?"
"Well he asked if there as a history of high bloodpressure in the family
which i guess would be a yes."
"He also asked if there was any stress in my life."
*SNORT*
I'm guessing since he asked, our doctor doesn't read my blog. If he did, he would have known the answer.
So Al's got a follow-up in a couple months and he's supposed to go to the pharmacy occasionally and check his bp on their machine in the mean time.
I believe there was also some mention of loosing a wee bit o' weight which I'm pretty involves cutting down on the PAILS of icecream consumed on a regular basis and while the work we do is pretty darn physical, I'm thinking a little cardio could be helpful.
Now the reason Al was at the Dr's office to begin with wasn't that he wasn't feeling well. Honestly, that man never gets sick. It acually makes me sick cuz I just have to hear the word strep and it infects me (Al's nephew just tested positive so it should be any day now for me - ohjoy) and yet I can share a drink with Al and he would be just fine. Grrrrr (doh..sidetracked rant)
Anyway, the reason for the Dr's visit was that as part of getting his Class 1 license, he had to have a "medical check-up". Now they (the licensing people) say this is a "physical" but in retrospect ---- it so isn't! The entire "check-up" involved being weighed and having his bp taken and answering a handful of questions.
Do you have a drinking problem? No.
Do you have an icecream problem? Yes....oh wait...that wasn't one of the questions - but it should have been.
Do you abuse drugs? No.
Have you ever abused drugs? No.
Have you have a history of kidney or heart problems? No and No.
And.....
That's it.
The entire "check-up" in a nut-shell.
The Dr marked off the appropriate boxes, noted his weight and bloodpressure and they were done.
No blood work or nothing.
And for that we got to write a glorious cheque in the amount of $95.
He can't be very concerned about Al's blood pressure if that's what he's charging to fill out paperwork. I know it shot mine up a couple points.
Come on!
For that kind of cash dammit I expected the man to put on a pair of gloves and make Al cough!
A few hours later I was at the same Dr's office too. Aarica had an appointment for her prescription refill. Seriously, there were more questions asked and more tests ordered at Aarica's appointment. He asked how things are going on the meds (GOOD!) and how things were in general (it is what it is). He asked if we had any counciling help - which is a big negative since our phychologist guy took another job. *sigh* and he talked to Aarica about her boyfriend situation and gasp even asked her about sex. It was quite the chitchat.
After he handed us another 3 months prescription PLUS a lab requisition for some tests, I shoo'd her out of the room (and she actually went to the lab on her own and made the appointments for her tests...all on her own...how cool) and I talked to the Dr briefly about Aarica and boys and the possibility that birthcontrol might be an option in the near future - just for safety sake more than anything. She's so unaware of life and could so easily be taken advantage of so it's something that is on our minds these days.
In the mean time, he's ordered fasting blood sugar and a EKG to check her sugars and her heart function - things that need to be kept an eye on with long term use of the meds she's taking and we will talk some more about the results and everything else next time.
And for all that Manitoba Health picks up the tab, but not to fill out a simple form for a class 1 drivers license application.
Go Figure - Not that I'm complaining.
My blood pressure probably wouldn't have been too stellar if I'd been given a bill for Aarica's appointment. Wonder what that would have cost me in the US?
Saturday, February 14, 2009
the post where my head spins around and then explodes
I'm literally vibrating right now. I'm dizzy my head is spinning so fast and I think my blood pressure just sky-rocketed and blew the top of my head right off.
That Girl! That Girl! She just exasperates me to the end of my sanity!
I'm feeling entirely embarassed right now and feel the need to phone my friend (hope she's still my friend) Joy in the morning and appologize repeately for the actions of my 16 year old daughter tonight.......who might not make it to 17 if she makes me any more crazy! Heck she might not make it to see the light of day.
Now I get that parenting a teen is in no way easy but seriously I'm at a loss. Parenting a teen is one thing. Parenting a teen who lives on a totally different wave length and learning curve is an entirely different bag of marbles. I think I dropped my marbles. Excuse me while I go round them up.
Ok
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm sure I missed a few but I'm back.
Let's talk about telephone ettiquette and more importantly a lack thereof, shall we.
Last year the school resource coordinator suggested providing instruction on basic skills such as how to look up numbers in the phone book. I used my Power of Veto on that suggestion and I had my reasons.
I'll put this bluntly and it probably wont' be 'politically correct' but my daughter has stalker tendancies with no concept of ettiquette. Just because you know someone and somehow have their phone number doesn't mean you have to call them - especially without a reason. Yes, learning to properly use a phone book is a good skill to have....but not before you've mastered the ettiquette of using a telephone properly or any ettiquette really- stalking people makes them uncomfortable. We were still working on face to face social ettiquette never-mind over the phone. Baby Steps!
That Girl! That Girl! She just exasperates me to the end of my sanity!
I'm feeling entirely embarassed right now and feel the need to phone my friend (hope she's still my friend) Joy in the morning and appologize repeately for the actions of my 16 year old daughter tonight.......who might not make it to 17 if she makes me any more crazy! Heck she might not make it to see the light of day.
Now I get that parenting a teen is in no way easy but seriously I'm at a loss. Parenting a teen is one thing. Parenting a teen who lives on a totally different wave length and learning curve is an entirely different bag of marbles. I think I dropped my marbles. Excuse me while I go round them up.
Ok
.
.
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I'm sure I missed a few but I'm back.
Let's talk about telephone ettiquette and more importantly a lack thereof, shall we.
Last year the school resource coordinator suggested providing instruction on basic skills such as how to look up numbers in the phone book. I used my Power of Veto on that suggestion and I had my reasons.
I'll put this bluntly and it probably wont' be 'politically correct' but my daughter has stalker tendancies with no concept of ettiquette. Just because you know someone and somehow have their phone number doesn't mean you have to call them - especially without a reason. Yes, learning to properly use a phone book is a good skill to have....but not before you've mastered the ettiquette of using a telephone properly or any ettiquette really- stalking people makes them uncomfortable. We were still working on face to face social ettiquette never-mind over the phone. Baby Steps!
Up until recently, the telephone is.....well..... it's been off limits. As in don't touch it. Ever. Without permission. And since asking for permission to do things is not what The Girl does best.....we took to hiding the phones *don't judge me.....the need for survival (of one's sanity) leads you to ideas that might not be great but get you through. We were picking our battles at that time and learning phone ettiquette wasn't high on the battle plan. The past 6 months though she'd matured a bit and now has a few friends and a *gasp, choke* The Boyfriend so using the telephone is something that, as a teenager, shouldn't be denied to her - that and since she has free access to the phone at school (don't even ask. that's a battle in itself) we've had no choice but to address the situation and meet it head on. Besides - the girl can sniff out a hidden phone (2 cordless and 3 cell phones in our house) with the determination of a bloodhound on a hot trail and if you let your guard down for a minute she'll scoop up a phone and disappear.
Oh look
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.the cat found another marble
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.and is batting it around the dining room.
Now where were we. Oh yes. Telephone Ettiquette and My Blood Pressure.
In hindsight I wish we'd stuck to the original battle plan and veto'd the whole damn idea because I think we've taught her telephone skills in the wrong order. Who, What, Where, When, Why and How. The HOW is last on that list.....for a very good reason. Dang. Too late to unlearn the How now. It's the one skill she picked up easily. The rest is a crap-shoot.
These are some of the things we have been working on.
WHO: Who do you call.? You can't just call anyone. Just because you know them and have their number doesn't mean you can or should call them (other kids from school that I know don't really want to talk to her). Don't call other people looking for mom or dad. If they didn't answer when you called them - too bad!
WHAT & WHERE: What phone are you using to call from and where is the person you are calling? Cell phone minutes cost money. Long distance is SO not an option except with parental supervision (one of her friends moved away so it's an
occasional treat...and that phone number is well hidden - bloodhounds couldn't even find it) and for a brief amount of time. Don't call someone at work - mom & dad are busy working and other people's boss might not like them getting calls at work so don't do it.WHEN: (Similar to where) When do you call someone?- Don't call mom & dad while they are at work. They are WORKING! You may call home from school while on a break or at lunch but not during class time. You may call mom when she is out to ask permission to do something - I'd rather you ask permission than do something you aren't allowed (but DON'T call to ask me something I've already told you that you can't do)
WHY: Why are you calling? You need a reason to call someone. Think about what you are going to ask or tell the person BEFORE you dial. Is this something important that cannot wait until you see them?
HOW: Knowing what number you are dialing and the basic skills of dialing properly.
I thought it was a pretty good list of the Do's and Do NOT's. I was wrong. Way Wrong. This past week has proven that I've missed some key points and there is much work to do to reinforce the ones I've thought of. Some examples that lead me to this ephiphany:
We need to reinforce all the rules about calling mom & dad (and
others) at work. You don't call mom and dad at work while you are at home
because schools are closed due to an ice storm to ask (repeatedly) when
they will be home because I don't know when we will be home and I told you
that the FIRST time you called. Also, don't call any of the other
staff members when mom or dad stop answering their phones to ask them why
we aren't answering our phones.We need to reinforce the "one phone call" rule and add what to
do if there is no answer and when it is appropriate to call
back later. When someone (The Boyfriend) doesn't
answer their cell phone after you've called over and over and over
again 8 times in under a minute and then call his parents house
and when he answers yell at him for not answering his cell (that's
just plain rude and has nothing to do with phone ettiquette) AND to begin with
you shouldn't be calling repeatedly over and over and over.
And that leads us to what made my head spin around and explode tonight
We definately need to expand the "when to call" rules to include time of
day because...
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you DO NOT EVER call someone such as The Boyfriend at his parents house or on
his cell at 10:45 at night!!!!! I thought she'd gone to bed but infact she was sitting in the living room watching the hockey game (which was fine). Then I heard her voice asking if The Boyfriend was there. I'm not lying when I say my head spun around and my blood pressure spiked dangerously high. I'm sure whoever answered the phone could hear me screaming at her from across the house --- and I'll bet the
neighbours 1/4 mile away heard me too.
If you call me in the next little while and I don't answer - it's not because I'm screening calls (unless of course I owe you ooodles of money...in which case I probably am screening your call) it's because both cordless phones and all three cell phones are locked in the safety deposit box and I can't get it unlocked fast enough to answer.
As for what to do about The Girl. You got me, cuz she doesn't seem to have a clue why my blood pressure is so high I'm dizzy.
Hey
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another marble!
Monday, February 09, 2009
The proof is in the 'ah-ha' moment
For those of you (like the 3 whole people that actually stop by and read this neglected little ramble-factory I call my blog) that have been around awhile, you might remember this little post from July about little red magic beans. Well it's been 6 months since The Girl started on these little darlings and while there's never been any question that they help....oh baby do they help, I've found myself wondering lately just how much they help. You see time has a way of making you forget things. *Stop snickering! I know I can't remember a damn thing at the best of times to begin with but seriously. After a few months, the 'new norm' kind of took over and we'd pretty much put the past behind us (or more likely blocked the horrific memories from all consious thought to save our sanity).
Anyway...I'm rambling...see aren't you glad you stopped by.
Anyway the new norm ain't all sugar and spice. The Girl is still a teenager and oh boy she's doing that with flair but we've been wondering just how different life was back then. Well. I have to tell you. We got a decent dose of just what life used to be recently and I can't believe it took me almost a full day to have that ah-ha moment and realize what was going on. While I was on pox-induced quarentine with Miss Em a couple weeks ago, Al took the rest of the herd...I mean family, out to Malanka (Ukrainain New Year Celebration for those not in the know) and they did not get home until sometime around 1am. Now normally The Girl is absolutely obsessive (it can be a good thing) about taking her meds. She's got this internal alarm clock and she knows when it's 9:00 and each night she responsibly takes her little red magic bean. It's really become such routine that I rarely double check that she's taken it and only need to monitor her pill box a couple times a week, refill it once a week and keep tabs on when to refill the prescription etc. *Note to self....hey self....you better get that prescription refill from the pharmacy this week. Even when we've been out in the evenings, the first thing she does when we get home and she's getting ready for bed is take her meds. So.....you can already figure out where this is going and really, if I was reading it like you are now I'd have seen it too. But that's not the way things work so it took till 9pm the NEXT night - a full 24hours past due for her meds for me to have my light-bulb, ah-ha, how could I be so stupid moment.
That Sunday was by far the most aggrivating day we've had in a long time. Sheer misery was had by all that day. Nobody was immune. Everyone at some point got a taste of it. Short-temper. Impulsive. Crash and burn mood swings and flat out mean-ness. She couldnt' keep her hands to herself or her mouth from getting her into trouble. It was brutal. To the point where Miss Em, who was starting to feel the 'crash and burn' of the pox and had little patience and lots of tears, packed up her personal belongings and moved out of the room she's been sharing with her sister and moved in with her brothers. "It was worth the risk" she told me later (if you could see the boys' room you'd understand the huge risk she was taking -especially not having a HazMat suit).
We'd assumed Em's lack of patience & tears were more from the pox and itching and Em herself not feeling well but in hindsight, I think she'd have bailed anyway because the day was just THAT BAD. And it just didn't click until later than night, while I was out having coffee with Carrie and was able to decompress and actually string a few thoughts together and talk to another adult without the stress of everything going on a home around me that I thought.....I'll bet she didn't take her meds last night. Sure enough - I got home and went straight to her pill box and the Saturday compartment still had that tiny little red bean in it. So while this little impromptu experiment wasn't exactly scientifically well executed, it sure does reinforce just how much those little beans help not only The Girl...but everyone who comes within striking distance of her. Been along while since we had a 'Duck and Cover' day in our house and I truely don't miss them. Now if only there was a magical cure for teenagers. I have two of them and there ain't enough Merlot in the cupboard some days baby!
*** Oh...and we haven't seen Em's glasses since that Sunday she 'moved out'. It's been over 2 weeks and I just don't hold much hope for finding the glasses (in one piece at least) so it looks like I'll need to buy The Princess a new pair. Grrrrr Pretty expensive 'science experiment' if you ask me.
Anyway...I'm rambling...see aren't you glad you stopped by.
Anyway the new norm ain't all sugar and spice. The Girl is still a teenager and oh boy she's doing that with flair but we've been wondering just how different life was back then. Well. I have to tell you. We got a decent dose of just what life used to be recently and I can't believe it took me almost a full day to have that ah-ha moment and realize what was going on. While I was on pox-induced quarentine with Miss Em a couple weeks ago, Al took the rest of the herd...I mean family, out to Malanka (Ukrainain New Year Celebration for those not in the know) and they did not get home until sometime around 1am. Now normally The Girl is absolutely obsessive (it can be a good thing) about taking her meds. She's got this internal alarm clock and she knows when it's 9:00 and each night she responsibly takes her little red magic bean. It's really become such routine that I rarely double check that she's taken it and only need to monitor her pill box a couple times a week, refill it once a week and keep tabs on when to refill the prescription etc. *Note to self....hey self....you better get that prescription refill from the pharmacy this week. Even when we've been out in the evenings, the first thing she does when we get home and she's getting ready for bed is take her meds. So.....you can already figure out where this is going and really, if I was reading it like you are now I'd have seen it too. But that's not the way things work so it took till 9pm the NEXT night - a full 24hours past due for her meds for me to have my light-bulb, ah-ha, how could I be so stupid moment.
That Sunday was by far the most aggrivating day we've had in a long time. Sheer misery was had by all that day. Nobody was immune. Everyone at some point got a taste of it. Short-temper. Impulsive. Crash and burn mood swings and flat out mean-ness. She couldnt' keep her hands to herself or her mouth from getting her into trouble. It was brutal. To the point where Miss Em, who was starting to feel the 'crash and burn' of the pox and had little patience and lots of tears, packed up her personal belongings and moved out of the room she's been sharing with her sister and moved in with her brothers. "It was worth the risk" she told me later (if you could see the boys' room you'd understand the huge risk she was taking -especially not having a HazMat suit).
We'd assumed Em's lack of patience & tears were more from the pox and itching and Em herself not feeling well but in hindsight, I think she'd have bailed anyway because the day was just THAT BAD. And it just didn't click until later than night, while I was out having coffee with Carrie and was able to decompress and actually string a few thoughts together and talk to another adult without the stress of everything going on a home around me that I thought.....I'll bet she didn't take her meds last night. Sure enough - I got home and went straight to her pill box and the Saturday compartment still had that tiny little red bean in it. So while this little impromptu experiment wasn't exactly scientifically well executed, it sure does reinforce just how much those little beans help not only The Girl...but everyone who comes within striking distance of her. Been along while since we had a 'Duck and Cover' day in our house and I truely don't miss them. Now if only there was a magical cure for teenagers. I have two of them and there ain't enough Merlot in the cupboard some days baby!
*** Oh...and we haven't seen Em's glasses since that Sunday she 'moved out'. It's been over 2 weeks and I just don't hold much hope for finding the glasses (in one piece at least) so it looks like I'll need to buy The Princess a new pair. Grrrrr Pretty expensive 'science experiment' if you ask me.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Trucks, Phychologists & other random thoughts
My body aches and I'm oh so tired but I feel the need to blog tonight. My thoughts are scattered (stop snickering and thinking - what else is new) and I'm sure the Merlot won't help them un-scatter but I'll give it a go anyway.
It's been an ever so interesting day...ummm week. Lets work backwards shall we.
Today was a very long day (hense the Merlot) and I'm so hoping the children will cease their unwillingness to sleep - soon! Al & Aarica, Shelley & I finally pulled back into the yard after a very long day in 'the beach' around 7:30 tonight. After a long frusterating day, Shelley finally got the parts needed to somewhat fix the big truck and she brought Aarica with her to the beach at 6pm tonight to help us finish up the last of the route. At one point Shelley threatened to pull start the truck, drive it into the city and through the display window of the dealership where we bought it (it's not the first time she's threatened to bring the truck back to them in a dramatic way...one of these days they are gonna call the cops on 'that crazy red-head' LOL) Anyway, as you can figure by now, the 'big truck' pitched a hissy...much like it's driver, and took most of the day off. I went in at 1:00 to take over for Garrett who worked the morning with Al. I was so impressed that they had finished all of Al's route by then. I spent the morning at home unexpectedly and for much of it I wasn't sure if I'd be heading into work at any moment so I really didn't accompish much around here while I was waiting for the big truck to be fixed. While I waited though, I did spend a half an hour on the phone with a psychologist. The title of my post was going to be " And the Pshychologist said......" Actually, it was going to be " Is it bad when a Psychologist says I think you are long overdue for some help?" but that was too long. Seriously though, that's what he said at one point. LOL It was a nice conversation and I'm actually looking forward to meeting him tomorrow afternoon. I hope I can talk as easily to him in person as I did over the phone today. Why the phychologist's phone call and subsequent appointment? Because I fell to pieces in the dr's office on Thursday and begged for help dealing with the teen mood-swing queen.... and our dr sent a consult over to the adolescent psychologist across the hall from him and boom there it is - the phone call of hope. One thing he said to me on the phone -" I don't think I can fix everything but I can help you deal with things alot better." Sounds good to me! For the first time in a long time I feel like there is someone in a professional capacity that 'gets where I'm coming from' and understands me and is willing to help in any way he can. Yipeeee. I'm kinda glad I was at home when he called and was able to take the time to actually talk to him, which wouldn't have been the case had the truck not broken down first thing this morning. Do things happen for a reason? Let's not push it that far. I'm not exactly willing to say that the words Truck Fire will ever ever ever be a good thing. They put it out with the fire extinguisher before I knew anything about it but still - not a good way to start out a Monday morning.....especially at 7 in the morning. At least I'd had a swallow or two of coffee before Garrett tossed that bit of news my way. Maybe if I'd gotten to sleep before 1am (darn girl and her fear of thunder storms) it might not have taken 2-3 attempts to explain what was going on outside for me to actually clue in. LOL
Well, Merlot and I did a pretty fine job of this post I think, but it's definately time to call it a night. I'll elaborate on the Dr's appointment and events leading up to that tomorrow when I have more time on my almost-day-off. I also have a post from mid last week - quite a rambling bit of nothing actually. I may edit it and publish it - or I may not. We will see how that goes. For now. G'night
~ K
It's been an ever so interesting day...ummm week. Lets work backwards shall we.
Today was a very long day (hense the Merlot) and I'm so hoping the children will cease their unwillingness to sleep - soon! Al & Aarica, Shelley & I finally pulled back into the yard after a very long day in 'the beach' around 7:30 tonight. After a long frusterating day, Shelley finally got the parts needed to somewhat fix the big truck and she brought Aarica with her to the beach at 6pm tonight to help us finish up the last of the route. At one point Shelley threatened to pull start the truck, drive it into the city and through the display window of the dealership where we bought it (it's not the first time she's threatened to bring the truck back to them in a dramatic way...one of these days they are gonna call the cops on 'that crazy red-head' LOL) Anyway, as you can figure by now, the 'big truck' pitched a hissy...much like it's driver, and took most of the day off. I went in at 1:00 to take over for Garrett who worked the morning with Al. I was so impressed that they had finished all of Al's route by then. I spent the morning at home unexpectedly and for much of it I wasn't sure if I'd be heading into work at any moment so I really didn't accompish much around here while I was waiting for the big truck to be fixed. While I waited though, I did spend a half an hour on the phone with a psychologist. The title of my post was going to be " And the Pshychologist said......" Actually, it was going to be " Is it bad when a Psychologist says I think you are long overdue for some help?" but that was too long. Seriously though, that's what he said at one point. LOL It was a nice conversation and I'm actually looking forward to meeting him tomorrow afternoon. I hope I can talk as easily to him in person as I did over the phone today. Why the phychologist's phone call and subsequent appointment? Because I fell to pieces in the dr's office on Thursday and begged for help dealing with the teen mood-swing queen.... and our dr sent a consult over to the adolescent psychologist across the hall from him and boom there it is - the phone call of hope. One thing he said to me on the phone -" I don't think I can fix everything but I can help you deal with things alot better." Sounds good to me! For the first time in a long time I feel like there is someone in a professional capacity that 'gets where I'm coming from' and understands me and is willing to help in any way he can. Yipeeee. I'm kinda glad I was at home when he called and was able to take the time to actually talk to him, which wouldn't have been the case had the truck not broken down first thing this morning. Do things happen for a reason? Let's not push it that far. I'm not exactly willing to say that the words Truck Fire will ever ever ever be a good thing. They put it out with the fire extinguisher before I knew anything about it but still - not a good way to start out a Monday morning.....especially at 7 in the morning. At least I'd had a swallow or two of coffee before Garrett tossed that bit of news my way. Maybe if I'd gotten to sleep before 1am (darn girl and her fear of thunder storms) it might not have taken 2-3 attempts to explain what was going on outside for me to actually clue in. LOL
Well, Merlot and I did a pretty fine job of this post I think, but it's definately time to call it a night. I'll elaborate on the Dr's appointment and events leading up to that tomorrow when I have more time on my almost-day-off. I also have a post from mid last week - quite a rambling bit of nothing actually. I may edit it and publish it - or I may not. We will see how that goes. For now. G'night
~ K
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day --- and what a wonderful day it is!!!
The sun is shining, the birds are singing and I'm just sooooo happy!!!!
LINDEN ALEXANDER GOTTFRIED was born at 12:45 am
Carrie & Garrett are the proud parents of one darn cute baby boy!
Happy Mother's Day Carrie
I'd just given up hearing anything and my head barely hit the pillow when I got the exciting text message at 1:50am from Garrett that Linden was finally here. I was so happy. I cried some tears of joy, forwarded the text message to a few people who were anxiously awaiting any news and then crashed....only to be woken by my own bundles of joy at 9am. They were fighting. Happy Mother's Day to me.
After a couple cups of coffee and dad giving the kids the evil eye - things settled down and we had a great day. I received a cute card from Owen (hand made at daycare....using Bazzill cardstock! how cool!) and a boquet of silk flowers in a pair of garden gloves as well as a fridge magnet with his cheesey little grin and a playstation game (which the kids have played more than me). In the afternoon we had Al's family here for a birthday bbq for all my May Babies - Aarica, Tyler & Emily and we played cards all. Garrett stopped by on his way home to show off pics of his pride & joy. What a cutie!!!
LINDEN ALEXANDER GOTTFRIED was born at 12:45 am
Carrie & Garrett are the proud parents of one darn cute baby boy!
Happy Mother's Day Carrie
I'd just given up hearing anything and my head barely hit the pillow when I got the exciting text message at 1:50am from Garrett that Linden was finally here. I was so happy. I cried some tears of joy, forwarded the text message to a few people who were anxiously awaiting any news and then crashed....only to be woken by my own bundles of joy at 9am. They were fighting. Happy Mother's Day to me.
After a couple cups of coffee and dad giving the kids the evil eye - things settled down and we had a great day. I received a cute card from Owen (hand made at daycare....using Bazzill cardstock! how cool!) and a boquet of silk flowers in a pair of garden gloves as well as a fridge magnet with his cheesey little grin and a playstation game (which the kids have played more than me). In the afternoon we had Al's family here for a birthday bbq for all my May Babies - Aarica, Tyler & Emily and we played cards all. Garrett stopped by on his way home to show off pics of his pride & joy. What a cutie!!!
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Advocacy 101
Where was that chapter in all the parenting books I read when my kids were young?
I think all parents - whether they have a special needs child or not, should take a class on being an effective advocate for your child(ren).
The A word - Advocate - seems to be smacking me in the face alot lately, from a couple different directions. I'm 'sort of' used to it with Aarica and I'm the first to admit I'm not the best advocate when it comes to her as I should be --- but I'm learning and trying to pick up the slack I've created. There have been some issues regarding her lately. This whole highschool thing is just new stuff for me and it's taking awhile to learn the ropes and a whole new way of doing things compared to life in middle school. While I've learned to not expect the world from CSS over the years, I've never had more than a mild complaint or two about how things work through the school system and I've never felt my daughter has needed me to stick my nose in and question what's going on. We've been truely blessed throughout the years with wonderful people to help us. We've had wonderful daycare staff that to this day are a gift, good resource coordinators at the school, amazing teachers and awesome TA support with many of these people going above and beyond to help and support not only our daughter but also me (and my sanity) as well as our family. All of a sudden i'm in uncharted waters. HighSchool is a whole different ball game and I'm struggling........ but that is why I've scheduled a meeting with the resource coordinator at the HighSchool to get a few things off my chest about some issues and I am determined to help my daughter and not drop the ball.
But it's not just Aarica I've got to be an advocate for lately. It seems our youngest is also struggling with some issues both at school and at daycare and now I've stepped up to the plate to help him too. Owen is dealing with a bully of sorts - someone in both his kindergarden class and his daycare group and I'm feeling like I've come full circle. 10 years ago, I'm sure there was a parent just like me, talking to teachers about how their child is having problems with our daughter and now I'm talking to teachers about problems my son is having with another child. I almost feel like a hipocrite, complaining about some of the very same things Aarica has more than likely done to other kids over the years - but I know I would never have questioned any other parent for sticking up for their kid ....it's just odd to be on the other side of the fence for a change. No matter which side of the fence I'm on though - this advocacy thing is tough stuff. Lets just hope things all work out in the end.
I think all parents - whether they have a special needs child or not, should take a class on being an effective advocate for your child(ren).
The A word - Advocate - seems to be smacking me in the face alot lately, from a couple different directions. I'm 'sort of' used to it with Aarica and I'm the first to admit I'm not the best advocate when it comes to her as I should be --- but I'm learning and trying to pick up the slack I've created. There have been some issues regarding her lately. This whole highschool thing is just new stuff for me and it's taking awhile to learn the ropes and a whole new way of doing things compared to life in middle school. While I've learned to not expect the world from CSS over the years, I've never had more than a mild complaint or two about how things work through the school system and I've never felt my daughter has needed me to stick my nose in and question what's going on. We've been truely blessed throughout the years with wonderful people to help us. We've had wonderful daycare staff that to this day are a gift, good resource coordinators at the school, amazing teachers and awesome TA support with many of these people going above and beyond to help and support not only our daughter but also me (and my sanity) as well as our family. All of a sudden i'm in uncharted waters. HighSchool is a whole different ball game and I'm struggling........ but that is why I've scheduled a meeting with the resource coordinator at the HighSchool to get a few things off my chest about some issues and I am determined to help my daughter and not drop the ball.
But it's not just Aarica I've got to be an advocate for lately. It seems our youngest is also struggling with some issues both at school and at daycare and now I've stepped up to the plate to help him too. Owen is dealing with a bully of sorts - someone in both his kindergarden class and his daycare group and I'm feeling like I've come full circle. 10 years ago, I'm sure there was a parent just like me, talking to teachers about how their child is having problems with our daughter and now I'm talking to teachers about problems my son is having with another child. I almost feel like a hipocrite, complaining about some of the very same things Aarica has more than likely done to other kids over the years - but I know I would never have questioned any other parent for sticking up for their kid ....it's just odd to be on the other side of the fence for a change. No matter which side of the fence I'm on though - this advocacy thing is tough stuff. Lets just hope things all work out in the end.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Aarica is 16 !!!!
Happy Birthday Baby Girl!!!
Sixteen!!! Sixteen!!! Sixteen??? How? When? Wow!!!!
It's still shocking to me that Aarica is 16 years old (and shocking that I could have a daughter that is 16). She is growing up...way up...and is now taller than me - way taller. She has a deep love of life and lives it out loud each and every day. Sweet and kind and caring - when she wants to be, but a bit snarky and very much a teen at other times. She's had quite the year. Last spring she played on a soccer team and it was a great experience. Over the summer she refused to go to camp and insisted she wanted to stay home and work with dad...and that's just what she did.....and she worked hard! In August she took a trip of a lifetime across the country to Kelowna with her brother by plane to spend a week with her Aunty Sue, Uncle Grant and her baby cousin who she loves sooo much. September was a huge transition into the highschool and she has made the move to this new environment amazingly well. Always the social butterfly, she's trying hard to fit into highschool life and even entered the talent show durring Spirit Week (without the knowledge of her support staff) and got up onstage and sang for the whole school. She's always loved music but has recently discovered the world of kareoke and the house hasn't been quiet since. She bowled this past year in the Special O league and had a great time and did really well - we are proud of her. Sweet 16! Bitter sweet in someways but so sweet in others. Aarica is growing up to be a beautiful young woman...but she will always be my BabyGirl!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Why I Returned to Blogging
I'm very much a person that needs to get my thoughts out of my head - or they tend to haunt me. Talking to someone would seem a logical track to take in such instances but writing them out works better for me - plus there's nobody talking back while I'm trying to think. I tend to keep what I'm really thinking to myself until I can't take it anymore (not a good thing) so by at least writing things down I can express what's on my mind and then deal with it.
So....on to the events of last Friday which brought about a frenzie of feelings and a resulting pity party and led to me being online all day doing some surfing for resources of various types. Eventually I ended up at a site that listed some parent blogs and I started reading a couple. One in particular really caught my attention and for the next 3 days, whenever I had a spare moment....and even when the moments weren't really 'spare', I found myself pouring through this mom's blog - reading 3 years of archived posts with an obsessive need. This woman, a married mother of 2 young girls, living in the US. A young professional, a woman with passionate posts about religion, politics and many many things. Most touching to me is how she is a strong advocate for her oldest daughter who has Down's Syndrome.
Why was I drawn to her posts so much. Because my pity party was about just how hard it is for me to be a good advocate for my daughter. We had been to see the Children's Special Services Social Worker on Friday morning and as always, after we left then the words I'd wanted to say, the feelings I wanted to express came pouring out. I 'vented' to those that would listen but honestly what good does that do my daughter. I should have spoken up at the meeting and said my peace then - only that's not me. I don't think quick on my feet and only after the fact do things come to mind that I want to say. Why were we at the CSS offices? We'd been called in because with A turning 16 (omg...how can THAT be?) in a couple weeks, the process of transfering her case over to Adult Services is begining. So we had to sign paperwork authorizing the CSS office to access her school records, particularily any phychological assessments. And to that I say - hahaha....good luck finding anything since it's been a requested item on her IEP for years and I've yet to see any concrete documentation that any sort of testing has been done - ya....really good advocating on my part huh. (Bad Mommy Advocate example #1) So we sign the paper - that for the record didn't even have our daughter's name written anywhere on it! and I had to point out that fact to the SW. After that was done we moved right along to I believe was the true reason for this wonderful meeting. You see I'm a jaded person so I tend to think there are alterior motives for things people say and do. Would the fact that A is turning 16 soon and it was time to being the transer to Adult Services have even come up this week had it not been April? April is funding month and in my experience that is when we 'hear from' our SW. She has to put A into the budget, so I guess now is a good a time as any to 'check in' with us and see how we are doing not that we talked about 'how we are doing' but rather what sort of services can the SW pop into the budget for this year. In the past this has been them paying for her (and an assistant) to go to camp for a week... effectively using our allotment of respite for the year. Well, last year A decided she didn't want to go to camp and even though the SW tried a couple times to convince her, she does not want to go this year either. I think i've finally caught on to this game. They want her to go to camp for the simple fact that it is a number they can plug into their budget for the coming year. "oh look what we've done for A this year....we spent $800 on 'respite' care for this girl and her stressed out family" Now don't get me wrong....I value the assistance and money spent on camp but in hindsight it sure made any other sort of support non-existant...not that in my jaded eyes I think there would have been much other support given. In addition to camp, a string of workers over the last couple years have also been taking A out for a couple hours each week to various activities - special o swimming or just hanging out and some experiences were better than others - and ironically this is usually the time of year that our SW magically finds a new worker for us. While it's nice to have that break for a couple hours it's not what i would call 'support'. Anyway, since she's refused to go to camp this year we now have a meeting with yet another new worker and since we (her father & i) couldn't come up with things for them to do together last friday, we are to "bring some ideas" with us to the meeting with the new worker next week. Why is she getting paid and yet I'm the one that needs to do the brainstorming...... AND THIS.....is the 'programming' that I am now going to have to fight for the next 2 years till she is 18 for the Adult Services division to continue. Continue? continue what programming? And just to clarify - many of the people who have worked with A over the years as a worker have been truely amazing people and we value their help highly....I'm just disapointed in the level of services provided by the people higher up in the food chain - the social worker(s).
Right at this point I'm damn frusterated and feeling very unworthy as an advocate for my child -- and for the rest of my family. I dropped the ball many years ago and stuck my head in the sand and feel a whole ton of guilt at the moment after reading how others' are advocates for their children. Bad Mommy Advocate!
So....on to the events of last Friday which brought about a frenzie of feelings and a resulting pity party and led to me being online all day doing some surfing for resources of various types. Eventually I ended up at a site that listed some parent blogs and I started reading a couple. One in particular really caught my attention and for the next 3 days, whenever I had a spare moment....and even when the moments weren't really 'spare', I found myself pouring through this mom's blog - reading 3 years of archived posts with an obsessive need. This woman, a married mother of 2 young girls, living in the US. A young professional, a woman with passionate posts about religion, politics and many many things. Most touching to me is how she is a strong advocate for her oldest daughter who has Down's Syndrome.
Why was I drawn to her posts so much. Because my pity party was about just how hard it is for me to be a good advocate for my daughter. We had been to see the Children's Special Services Social Worker on Friday morning and as always, after we left then the words I'd wanted to say, the feelings I wanted to express came pouring out. I 'vented' to those that would listen but honestly what good does that do my daughter. I should have spoken up at the meeting and said my peace then - only that's not me. I don't think quick on my feet and only after the fact do things come to mind that I want to say. Why were we at the CSS offices? We'd been called in because with A turning 16 (omg...how can THAT be?) in a couple weeks, the process of transfering her case over to Adult Services is begining. So we had to sign paperwork authorizing the CSS office to access her school records, particularily any phychological assessments. And to that I say - hahaha....good luck finding anything since it's been a requested item on her IEP for years and I've yet to see any concrete documentation that any sort of testing has been done - ya....really good advocating on my part huh. (Bad Mommy Advocate example #1) So we sign the paper - that for the record didn't even have our daughter's name written anywhere on it! and I had to point out that fact to the SW. After that was done we moved right along to I believe was the true reason for this wonderful meeting. You see I'm a jaded person so I tend to think there are alterior motives for things people say and do. Would the fact that A is turning 16 soon and it was time to being the transer to Adult Services have even come up this week had it not been April? April is funding month and in my experience that is when we 'hear from' our SW. She has to put A into the budget, so I guess now is a good a time as any to 'check in' with us and see how we are doing not that we talked about 'how we are doing' but rather what sort of services can the SW pop into the budget for this year. In the past this has been them paying for her (and an assistant) to go to camp for a week... effectively using our allotment of respite for the year. Well, last year A decided she didn't want to go to camp and even though the SW tried a couple times to convince her, she does not want to go this year either. I think i've finally caught on to this game. They want her to go to camp for the simple fact that it is a number they can plug into their budget for the coming year. "oh look what we've done for A this year....we spent $800 on 'respite' care for this girl and her stressed out family" Now don't get me wrong....I value the assistance and money spent on camp but in hindsight it sure made any other sort of support non-existant...not that in my jaded eyes I think there would have been much other support given. In addition to camp, a string of workers over the last couple years have also been taking A out for a couple hours each week to various activities - special o swimming or just hanging out and some experiences were better than others - and ironically this is usually the time of year that our SW magically finds a new worker for us. While it's nice to have that break for a couple hours it's not what i would call 'support'. Anyway, since she's refused to go to camp this year we now have a meeting with yet another new worker and since we (her father & i) couldn't come up with things for them to do together last friday, we are to "bring some ideas" with us to the meeting with the new worker next week. Why is she getting paid and yet I'm the one that needs to do the brainstorming...... AND THIS.....is the 'programming' that I am now going to have to fight for the next 2 years till she is 18 for the Adult Services division to continue. Continue? continue what programming? And just to clarify - many of the people who have worked with A over the years as a worker have been truely amazing people and we value their help highly....I'm just disapointed in the level of services provided by the people higher up in the food chain - the social worker(s).
Right at this point I'm damn frusterated and feeling very unworthy as an advocate for my child -- and for the rest of my family. I dropped the ball many years ago and stuck my head in the sand and feel a whole ton of guilt at the moment after reading how others' are advocates for their children. Bad Mommy Advocate!
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