Suggestion Duely Noted and Taken Into Consideration

It's another one of those "I'm speechless" moments in my life.

I hate when the school calls and puts me on the spot and I can't think of how to respond without sounding all snarky (although I probably did anyway) and I'm sick of being called about the stupidest things and being made to feel like I've just been scolded like a child and told what to do.

As I've stated before, I'm not the worlds best advocate for my kid. Mostly I think because I just don't have the answers and I'm at a loss for what to do most of the time to begin with so when challenged on things I freeze up.

I've been getting increasingly frusterated by the situation at school with my oldest (who turned 17 yesterday and I'm still dealing with the reality of that....and the grey hair I found even though I just coloured my hair last week. UGH!) and it's come to the point where a couple weeks ago I had a dream that I pulled her out of school completely and decided that I would homeschool her. In my dream it totally worked and we had the most amazing success with the plan. In reality I can't see it working well at all for numerous reasons such as....we don't get along --- at all and we'd probably kill each other. Not to mention the fact I'm totally disorganized and wouldn't know what to do or where to start.

Today is another one of those days were I have the disillusioned idea that I could and should do it.

Today's call from the resource coordinator was about our daughter not bringing a lunch and I guess she was trying to be constructive about the situation but her tone and words were so condescending that it just got me all defensive and I'm completely put off by her attitude. We've actually discussed this issue a few times over the year and really, I don't know what to do about it. I can't force my daughter to take a lunch and I'm not at the school to monitor her and make her eat her lunch if she does take one. She's left on her own during lunch (which I've expressed concern with) so what do they expect me to do. Well I guess they are getting complaints regarding Aarica asking for money or food from students (again....we went through this in the fall too....and then she was even asking teachers/staff for money). So the coordinator offered suggestions such as us sending in money for her to have in her account at the caffeteria - wasn't an option in the fall and it's definately not an option for us now. She seemed a bit annoyed that I couldn't accomodate this and then she suggested we bring in food such as a loaf of bread and lunch meat or cup of soup etc that can be stored there and our daughter can make herself a sandwich or whatever to have for lunch.

Now forgive me if I'm way wrong in my thinking here but my child has special needs but that doesn't make her so special that the rules don't apply to her (even though she likes to think that way) and there is absolutely no reason she cannot take a lunch made at home each morning just like her brothers and sister do. NO reason at all....except that she's a stubborn thing and refuses to take a lunch. Period. If she can't have money for the cafeteria she doesn't want anything at all.

So I told the coordinator I would see what I could do and ended the call as quickly after that as possible. I couldn't figure out a way of telling her I didn't see that suggestion working for me either and I was really tired of having to justify my reasons to her. I'm struggling hard enough to squeeze the basics out of our food budget without having to purchase a seperate loaf and package of meat that will be kept at school on the off chance our daughter might get around to eatting it....which I'm almost positive she wouldn't.

When Aarica got home I pulled her aside and told her I'd gotten a call from the school and asked her what was going on.....who she'd been mooching money and food off of etc....and she lied and said she wasn't and then said her friends 'offered' and I'm not buying it one bit. I told her she doesn't have a choice and would be taking a lunch from now on and her responses were "I'll just forget it here" and I told her I'd duct tape it to her damn forehead if I had to but she was taking a lunch. She says she won't eat it and well...I guess that's the chance I will take - and the food I will waste - but I sure as heck am not treating her any different than the rest of my kids who survive quite fine on the packed lunch made at home that they take to school with them every day.....and sometimes they even eat it.


~K