Automated Messages - a commentary

Caller ID is a wonderful thing. It allows me to know, to a certain degree, who's calling me.

I answer those I know and those with local numbers. I'll even answer a long distance call should the caller be so kind as to not block their ID. Actually, I'll even answer a blocked ID occasionally since there are a few people who call from their places of work and their ID is automatically blocked but we have a system for answering these. It's a secret. If you don't know it, then you aren't one of the ones that calls from a blocked ID that we really want to talk too. Oh - wait. Maybe you are and you just don't know 'the system'.

Calls I prefer not to answer come from the 800/866 long distance calls. You know, the ones.

The telemarketer who insists I absolutely want to save money on my long-distance bill and then heckles me when I say no. Really, I'm fine with my phone company thankyouverymuch!

The charity I've never heard of and quite frankly couldn't afford to donate to if I truely trusted the stranger on the other end of the phone and wanted to anyway and then heckles me for not wanting to help some poor school kids get the breakfast they need in order to have a productive day of learning - yes, really, she heckled me for saying no.

The marketing survey dude pretending he really wants my opinion for his stupid survey.....really - my opinion doesn't matter enough for you to call me at 8am or 10pm....or any other time of day.

Then there are the customer service (loose use of the term here folks) representative who is either calling to ask when they can expect a payment on my account *snort* or just making a courtesy call which is most likely on an account 'not in my name' so they sure as heck don't want to talk to l'il-ol'-me.

The calls that really, really, REALLY bug me though are any of the above that don't actually have a LIVE person on the other end IF by some miracle I'm in the mood to speak to them or IF by their misfortune I'm in a mood and want to tell them where to stick their phone and my phone number. If you can't be bothered to dial that number and be ON THE LINE when I answer then why the heck should I waste my time listening to your automated message asking me to either hold for the next available representative or worse yet run me through a whole damn marketing message that last a minute and a half before I'm given the option of having my number removed from your list so that "my captain" will stop calling me to tell me I've won some stupid trip - as IF!

Yesterday's phone call takes the cake on all of these automated messages though. It was a local number even. One recognizable. It's even on my calling list on my cell phone. If was from....

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my kids' highschool

at 6pm

Seriously!

The highschool computer system called me with an automated voice message ( I also received an email message too).

Hello *pause* a child in your household *pause* in grade
10*pause* was absent on March 5th during *pause*period 3. Please
contact the school or send a written note explaining this absense. To hear
this message again press 1

which I had to do about 5 times to really 'get' the full extent of what the heck the message was about and then figure out which of the kids was 'in grade 10'...cuz we're smrt like that.

Boy what grade are you in again? 9

okay, so that leaves.....The Girl.

Boy, when exactly is "period 3?" Uh, well, if you count EP then well um, but it's not really a full time slot so I guess um, it's the first class after lunch - maybe - uh, well. Ya. I guess the first class after lunch. cuz he's smrt like that.

GIRL! What class did you have right after lunch today? Uh, Uh, rattles off some letters of which I have NO CLUE what they stand for - I think it's a travel and tourism course but can't swear to it.

Ya Sure. Okay. So who's the teacher in that class? Audrey.

Ya okay, I know you are with Audrey (her EA) but who's the TEACHER of the class. Uh - Mr. F

And did you go to Mr. F's class today? Well, no. I was with Audrey in the resource room doing 'hygiene stuff' (don't ask....i'm just going to move right along and not even go there. it's 'programming i'm trying to be supportive of but think is well....nevermind. my bloodpressure can't handle that topic today)

So The Girl was "absent" from a class that in all honesty is probably above her head on so many levels anyway working with her EA on resourse/life skills things that the school has initiated and the school is calling ME to ask ME why she wasn't in class? PLUS.... this is a special needs student who's whereabouts should be monitored at all times. If she's not in a class that she should be in I would hope that the teacher would attempt to find out why - at that time - not 2.5 hours after school with an automated message.

I don't know how this automated system really works but I'm assuming that someone (a live person) has to enter the information of who "skipped" what classes into the system and then the system does it's thing. It's feeling rather impersonal to me, especially since my children are directly involved with these teachers on a daily basis. Couldn't these teachers, then in turn, have some direct involvement with parents when an issue such as this one comes about - not that this particular instance should be an issue at all since it's clearly a lack of communication between the resource dept and the classroom teacher on this one. Wonder if I could set up an automated call system.

Resource Dept phone rings 2.5 hours after school.

Hello *pause* this is an automated system calling to inform you
that *pause* a child in your program in *pause* Grade 10, was
absent on March 5th from *pause* Period 3. Please contact the
teacher tomorrow and explain why this child was absent from class.

***anyway, now that i'm done ranting....I called the school - as did apparently a whole lot of parents today. It's a new system and they are working out 'The Bugs'. The teacher inputs their info into the system (when they do this i'm not exactly sure - during class when they take attendance? after school?) and they are only given the option of absent, late or present. There is no "excused" option that the teacher can choose which would eliminate this type of call. So yes, The Girl wasn't IN class so even though she was in school and pulled out of class (or in her case, just didn't go to the class in the first place because of other programming done during that time slot?) she was marked as absent and the system doesn't take anything else into account and makes the automated call. Like I said. Kind of impersonal.

I foresee many of these calls in my future unless they work out these bugs quickly. The Boy takes a "pull out option course" so each time he has Band so he's effectively absent from a couple of his regular classes each week.

~K